long time no update

it's been a while! things have gotten pretty rough. i am in a lot of pain, and i am experiencing some extreme stomach problems. i am not sure if they are completely cancer related or if it is just pain pain side effects or what but i am pretty much wiped out all the time. i have lost more weight, and i am extremely weak, struggling to get up and down on my own and today almost just collapsing for no reason. we are trying to stay positive, but things are pretty daunting.

we are going to head to austin next for some other alternative treatments, and then heading back to ca to do some radiation on my brain tumor, i don't know the exact time frame on all that, but i will try to do better and keepin the blog updated.

scary

Brain tumor...

I had an mri done last week and it revealed a 4 cm tumor located in the base of my skull. i had thought that the headaches and numbness were side effects from pain meds...

this news is really rocking me. up til now i have been able to stand strong in hope and faith, now we are feeling pretty broken and overwhelmed.

Johnna and i have made i to the mexican clinic. it is an outpatient program, so we are staying in del rio tx, and the clinic picks us up and drops us off every day. We are loving the clinic so far, a little quirky, but alot of good reports and hopeful fellow cancer fighters. We were at the clinic when i was informed about the brain tumor, and we were instantly surrounded by caring praying friends that can COMPLETELY relate. we've met people who have been able to watch their tumors shrink and talking to people who have outlived their death sentences by 10 years.

for those of you who pray (and that better be everybody right now!) please pray for wisdom. we have some decisions to make about how to treat the brain tumor, so we definitely need some divine council.

game on!

more hope!

Johnna and i met with a new oncologist in Santa Rosa, CA and he was INCREDIBLE! Dr. Keiser is the guy we have been looking for. the other oncologists have left me with a sense that my diagnosis is just hopeless, this guy is looking for possibilities. He was hopeful, and even encouraged us to pursue the alternative/crazy treatments, he is going to look for some of them himself!

I'll get a new ct scan early next week, and this time we're doing a full body. I have some strange headaches and some numbness around my forehead so we are also checking the brain. Pray for us for hope, i have only received horrible news following all my scans so we get a little anxious.

We are also ready to head to mexico finally! once we have gotten our scan results i'll be heading out to a clinic in Acuna MX. Dr. Keiser informed us that the cancer is advancing in my liver, and it will pick up momentum as it advances. The clinic in Acuna is doing treatments specializing in liver tumors in addition to systemic treatments. Johnna and I are really excited to be able to move in this direction, and it is all thanks to the generosity and outpouring of care from all you wonderful friends!

getting harder!

things are starting to get a little bit rougher, painful nights are a little more frequent, medication side effects a little more intense, i am a little less patient with my precious family ...

One big new detail, the oncologist in texas failed to ever mention an additional bone legion i have located in my hip. I was looking through all my medical records and read one little line on a ct scan that clearly states "legion present within the left ilium." It is located in the ball and socket part of the hip, and has been painful for several months. I am not sure how my oncologist could have failed to communicate that little tid bit! It also appears that there are more new tumors, and possibly one now in my pancreas, and the previous ones are growing, but not too quickly.

On a brighter note, we are finding a number of new treatment possibilities that are available to us that we are exploring. It is all a little overwhelming as there are quite a few new/experimental routes in addition to all the other treatments we have been considering. Pray for wisdom! MPNST cancer is such a rare cancer that very little is known about it, and there is not a lot of research being done. There is one clinical trial going on right now in Germany with a drug that has been successful on other types of sarcoma cancers, so i am hoping that i will be able to participate in that somehow. We also found several sarcoma centers that are pursuing new treatments as well so maybe they are on to something that will work!

as always, thank you all for the support and love, i am continually blessed by the outpouring of generosity and care.

done with radiation, again

well we have completed the radiation treatments to the spine. johnna and i had decided at one point that we weren't going to do any more radiation, however, all the dr.s we talked to (including some alternative ones) said that the best bet for addressing the back pain was radiation. sadly, it hasn't had any effect yet. the radiation continues to attack the cells for up to a week or more, so there still is a slight chance that i may get some pain relief out of it, but the radiation oncologist is saying that it is more likely that the amount of decay already caused by the tumor is probably just going to be a permanant pain. The biggest disapointment is i really hoped to get away from the pain meds. the meds have had a lot of side effects and complications, and require other medications to counter some of them, plus having an effect on my mood and even just feeling like i am in charge of my thoughts.

some good news is that there are a number of new treatment possibilities that are opening up here in california for us to explore, and that has been very exciting. hopefully there will be more on this to follow soon!

as always thank you all for your continued love, prayers and generosity. Johnna and i have experienced a complete support network just take over for us, and we are relieved to be able to focus on the battle for wellness. bless you all for your labors and gifts.

it's my birthday!

35 years old today, i figure that must be the halfway point for my lifespan, minimum. i have always teased that my kids owe me some dirty diaper changing and i fully plan on collecting that service from them when i am old.

spent the sunrise on bennett valley ridge this morning, watched the brightness of the stars become completely eclipsed by the power of the sun and it made me realize how much my faith and hope have grown in the last couple months. from the initial anxiety of 1 small tumor, to the depth of fear and darkness of the death sentence from 08/1/2007, johnna and i have been brought into a place of joy and intimacy that i have craved ALL MY LIFE! not to mention my relationship with God taking a consuming passionate reckless obsession. another hardly noticed byproduct has been the complete release of several giant issues of bitterness and regret and unforgiveness.

i have come to believe that God is never the source of disease, yet sometimes i am tempted to worship him for the cancer! i do not, i do curse this wickedness, and revile it, yet the pain and the struggle and loss of this season has produced so much to celebrate, i am left with nothing but gratitude. There are good days and bad days, including a terrifying hallucinegic mix of pain killers, but this adventure is a life worth living.

a few more details to update as well, i have completed 4 of 15 daily radiation treatments here in santa rosa ca. the last treatment is scheduled for october 3rd and then hopefully we can complete our road trip to Mt Shasta CA. We are also receiving much more comprehensive medical coverage afforded by the CA medi-cal program and it looks like there may be more resources and possibilities for conventional treatments available.

thanks again to all for the love and labor and generosity,

isaac

smooth beauracracy?

as you know if you've been in touch lately, i have been suffering some extreme pain caused by a tumor located on my spine. apparently the tumor is compressing a vertabrae which has pulled nerve bundles out of alignment and has caused other pains to radiate out from the location of the tumor. All the oncologists and dr.s agree that radiation on this tumor will shrink or eliminate it, obviously eliminating the pain. (as compared to the nightmare of narcotic pain relief coupled with side effects and withdrawal symptoms which i have accidently put myself through twice). the down side is that radiation is roughly $1,000.00 per treatment and i will need anywhere from 10 - 20 treatments to effectively deal with this tumor.

i decided to try again with medi-caid, medical, etc. this time the process was smooth and quick and is already done and i have been approved! i actually begin radiation hopefully tomorrow! this means we will be staying in the santa rosa area during the treatments, possibly taking our weekends up in mt shasta.

i am still having some pretty bad days, but there are some good days included in the mix now as well, and i sure am enjoying those ones.

as always, my heart has been expanded to near bursting with the love and encouragement and support and sensitivity i have received from all of you, my friends. thank you again and again, we are all on this crazy ride together and we will all rock on when we have kicked this evil disease right in the balls.

now we are cooking with oil ... HOLY OIL

after an incredible night of love and an outpouring of incredible generosity, i returned to my parents house (where we are temporarily staying in santa rosa ca) and had the worst shock of pain and torment i have yet gone through. the spinal tumor combined with some extreme stomach cramps (possibly side effect of the pain killers) and several other various aches and pains, escalated to a whole new intensity. things went okay during the day on friday but then again on friday night things went really sour. friday night ended up being so bad i had my first moment of weakness, of not being resolved to fight with everything i had. the pain was so extreme and so constant for so long i started to lose my desire to fight.

then ... saturday came with support from some of Gods finest. a dr. that goes to church with my parents has already volunteered a ton of time for consultations and research and comfort. he was able to make some key adjustments to the pain medications i am taking which helped some of the pain subside. then a precious family that have been long time friends came by to pray. we had an amazing time of standing together and declaring God's goodness and their encouragement and boldness in christ has actually changed some things in my spirit that i believe broke some of the power of this disease to torment me. it is already past the hour of my suffering from the 2 previous nights and i am reasonable comfortable and at peace. i actually believe that this is the first manifestation of the healing that God is working into me, and will just simply continue.

we are celebrating Gods work of purifying and strenghtening and restoring me. the difference in my body is monumental.

reality check

so far most of my posts have been a reflection of the mindset that i have chosen as a method of fighting this disease. i choose a perspective that is full of hope and joy and dignity and strength. i am now also experiencing some of the downside of cancer, and as i am choosing not to focus my thoughts or energy on those things i have not really posted the whole story. so here it is, some of the nasty side (which for me just only really began about 3 weeks ago).

i am not 100% certain that this really is the source of the pain, but it is very likely that there is a tumor on my spine that is destroying the bone tissue. this is a condition that has become extremely painful. because of its location on my upper back there are many movements that trigger a shock of pain. recently that has progressed into a constant nagging pain that is most disruptive at night while i attempt sleep. this has driven me to begin the process of searching for the appropriate pain medication to bring me some relief so that i may continue to function as close to normal (for me) as possible. the one i am on right now is very effective at reducing the pain, and some of the side effects are pleasant. the other side effects however, have been their own little bit of struggle. What I would like to communicate is this, for those of you who pray please lift these issues up to our Father; bad constipation, occasionally crippling fatigue and mental slow down, periodic waves of flu like symptoms, and the craziest one of all, a one month supply is $360.00.

the other struggle that weighs heavily upon me is the loss of the ability to play with my boys the way we are used to playing. we have always been able to have wild time and play very aggressively and actively with each other and i currently experience intense pain when i just try to throw a ball! i am able to connect with my sons in other ways that are really significant, but there is something that we all really miss now that we cannot slap, body slam, titty twist and sucker punch each others ribs.

i appreciate those of you who have had suggestions regarding medical care, and i also appreciate those of you who have refrained from overloading me with information. when it comes to play time with the wild ones, i would welcome any and all suggestions and ideas about what me and the boys could do together that will satisfy their natural tendency towards crazy time, and allow me to stay boring and immobile. i haven't included naomi in this as her and i have never used slapping or body slamming in any of our play and she prefers the calmer modes of interacting (seems strange that i have a child like that at all). I am also looking for ways to create awesome significant memories for my babies as they are struggling with the torment of a sick daddy and their fear of losing me. so shoot me any ideas you have or things that you have done that might create lasting fond memories.

bless all y'all

on the road again!

we are heading back to california! we love texas more than any other place we've ever been, but there are some great things available to us in california for right now. i have not kept this blog as informative and up to date as i would have liked and this post will likely be the least coherent of them all, but i do want to let you all know the latest. the tumor on my spine has grown increasingly painful and has actually gotten severe enough to get me into some painkillers. the dose that is required to make the pain level tolerable is also enough to slow me down an awful lot, so i may not make a whole lot of sense in my communication (i'm just glad that i can't slur my words on a blog)
i cannot believe the overwhelming amount of support that my family has received from this great community. i can't imagine that any other individual fighting this beast of cancerr has had the kind of outpouring of generosity, ingenuity and (the drugs kind of ebb and flow, i have sat here at the keyboard for about 10 minutes after typing the word ingenuity and keep forgetting what i am trying to think of to communicate) ... i guess i'll just have to leave you hanging. as an example for those of you who have not personally been subjected to my most recent obsession, a dear friend in texas let me borrow his beautiful 2000 heritage springer softail harley for the week prior to our departure for california. on the day before our planned departure, i was starting to work on getting the bike back to him and he and his wife told me to figure out a way to take the scoot to california with us. i don't know how much all y'all (thats texan for referring to plural form of you) know about your average harley owner but thats kind of like saying "here, take my right leg and all of my joy with you to california. this example is just one of many giant acts of generosity and again and again i am filled with love and gratitude for our God who takes the plans of our enemy intended to destroy us and turns them to pure blessing.
in this season there are many wonderful people that i love dearly that are sending me there messages of love and hope. as my days lately seem to be a stumbling match between intense pain and bill and teds excellent pain meds i have not been returing very many calls. please forgive me and have grace, the majority of my energy and coherency has gone into pouring myself into the lives of my wife and babies (and honestly a little bit of harley time). i do love receiving your messages!

i am pretty sure there are a lot more details i should be providing but the keyboard has actually become incredibly blurry for now, so please pray without ceasing, send lots of money and love, and i hope to see YOU very soon.

fundraisers and such

several fundraisers occured this weekend in the texas area and an incredible $7,000.00 was raised. there is also an awesome event being planned for the santa rosa ca area on sept 6. for details on that please sign up for updates here, or call an information line at 707.237.5701.

we have also been blessed by another dear friend with the creation of an online travel site that will also generate some income for us. you can either simply book your flights and hotel accomodations there, or you can actually set up your own travel site as a part of my business and you and i both will receive commissions from business generated on your site! to book travel arrangements visit here or for more info on the business visit here.

i cannot express the magnitude of gratitude (copyright jesse jackson at some point i am sure) this lehr family has for all the incredible efforts going on to support us. there are some huge efforts requiring many hours of work and devotion, may God bless you tenfold for the gifts you have bestowed.

holy crap

so much to update, so few brain cells devoted to remembering them all!

the conclusion of our california /tijuana trip was not quite as hopeful as we would have liked. my current diagnosis is extreme enough that even the alternative hospitals are talking about extended life expectancy rather than complete remission. they have experienced complete remission but it is the exception rather than the rule.

we returned to austin on thursday the 9th, and on friday the 10th, went through the needle biopsy which i highly recommend avoiding if at all possible. i left for georgia on saturday to spend a week at a conference regarding the spiritual and physical dynamics of healing and being whole. it was really good eye opening material, and i again have a great hope that i will be completely healed. the "for my life" conference at Be In Health ministries has recorded numerous miracle healings of many untreatable diseases including terminal cancer.

Right after the lest session of the conferenc i started experiencing some chest pain and shortness of breath. after the most exasperating time of dealing with emergency rooms in ga it was finally determined that i had a partially collapsed lung, along with a small amount of fluid and swelling of the lining of my lung and chest wall. things could have been worse, but it seems that some of the physically painful implications of the cancer may be starting to manifest.

it also appears that the original diagnosis i received was incomplete. believe it or not, there are more tumors than i thought my oncologist discussed. there are 5 or 6 in my lungs with at least one tumor in each of the lobes of the lungs, and 4 or 5 tumors in my liver, as well as the one on my spine. we are standing strong against fear and doubt, but it is a very hard position to maintain at times. we are going to head back up to shasta in a week or so to stay until the funds for tijuana are available.

i think that is all for now, thank you for tracking with the lehr family. i desperately seek your continued prayer and financial support, and look forward with great hope to having a good report of God's power soon.

on the road

johnna and i spent this last weekend in a church in northern CA that has experienced untreatable terminal cancer patients being healed. it has been an extraordinary time of building hope, and we feel equipped to keep pressing on in our journey. i will have an MRI and a needle biopsy this coming friday, and i wouldn't be shocked to hear the report that the tumors are mysteriously gone! we were supposed to be heading to tijuana today, but our flight was overbooked so we are going tomorrow. there are 2 alternative hospitals there that we will be visiting before we make our final decision regarding which to seek care from, and following our trip we should have an updated cost analysis. We hope to have the funding for the treatment as soon as possible, so be aware of the fundraisers happening in your area. there is a cut-a-thon in austin on august 19 and something fun and exciting with a celebrity chef in santa rosa on september 6th.

as things just keep looking worse and worse, i am glad to have already experienced the generosity and support from so many of you. i thank you for standing with me, and know before i ask that you will continue to stand and even stand stronger for me and my family as we face this growing tyrant.

bad news

... ... well ... i am in bad shape. after a brief conversation on monday with my oncologist, i was able to sit down with him this morning and get the details. the spot in my lung from march has grown quickly, there are several other spots in the same lobe of the same lung, there are 2 spots on my liver and possibly a spot on my spine. The spine mass may be an injury that i incurred as part of the awkward stance i adopted to promote faster skin healing during my radiation treatments. the dr. was very specific today that the only option left is chemotherapy. surgeries are no longer an option when the disease is this advanced, and my lungs would not be able to withstand the radiation necessary to eliminate the tumor. The dr. stated to me and my wife today that this is going to kill me, that i am going to die from this. there may be some experimental options that may prolong my survival, but there are no treatments that will save me.

i obviously will continue to stand in the belief that i have a long life ahead of me, that i will enjoy my childrens weddings and hold my grandchildren. my hope is in Christ alone. we are also going to be wise and pursue every single stinking snake oil and miracle healer we can find, and i will create extraordinary memories for my wife and children.

i do not accept the death sentence today

lung butter

well... ...

talked to my oncologist today, remember the little tiny spot in my lung that was too small to do anything with? It has grown (a lot) and has several new neighbors along with it. the spot was 2 mm in march and is now 2 cm, and there are several other new spots as well.

my current coverage through a county aid program expires on august 10th and will not be renewable, so my oncologist is scrambling to get me in for a needle biopsy. this sounds like a normal fun thing to try, i will have a needle inserted all the way into my lung where the tumor is and they will remove a small portion of the tumor for a biopsy. then we will know for sure what it is .... ... could it be anything other than more of the same cancer that has shown up 6 times elsewhere in my body? i honestly don't know, but i can't imagine anything else at this point.

i just wonder at this point ... what would sponge bob do?

now what!?

Radiation is finished! my skin is starting to heal up and i can sleep without cramming my arm into an awkward overhead position. i love how things are so relative, and i get to enjoy sleeping on the rv table/bed so much now. i had a ct scan on monday and my oncologist will hopefully be able to get the results to me tomorrow, so we're pretty anxious about that. not much else to report at this point, we still have no idea what is next for us.

there are several great fundraising efforts going on right now. the paul mitchell school is doing a cut-a-thon on august 19th, the black angels are going to do a benefit show in september and the rv park is putting together a BBQ/game night for residents of the park. i love all the attention!

more coverage headaches

rawr! the eternal battle dealing with bureaucracy just keeps on going! My oncologist tried to schedule a ct scan last week, but was informed that he is no longer authorized to refer me for treatments and scans. i used up over half of my cell plans minutes trying to figure out what i had to do in order to get the scan done. i was told that i had to have a dr appointment at one of the dirty ghetto clinics in order to establish coverage. the next available appointment is september 12. the coverage that i have been provided expires on august 10, and will not be renewed unless my homes are sold. after waiting on hold and sitting in several offices for hours, i snapped and decided i was gong to just go make a scene at the state capitol building. i figured "what the heck, worse case scenario, i'll get myself arrested and they probably can't deny health services to inmates." i have never been to the capitol building, so i just showed up in the lobby and started asking random people what they would do. i was eventually sent to my state senators office where i found an individual whose position is constituent services. this delightful woman spent an hour and a half making calls and turning the screws until she got in touch with the right guy at the right time. we were promised a return call that same day, so i left and awaited his call. by the time he called i already had an appointment for the next day at the dirty clinic in the bad part of town. i went to the clinic and was helped by a handful of very helpful concerned individuals, however, they apparently do not have the same access to the hospital scheduling and it may take several weeks before i can get the scan done, and that is assuming that the family dr i saw agrees with my oncologist that the scans are necessary. it sure seems ridiculous to have a family clinic dr oversee the recommendations of a oncology specialist with 15 years experience treating cancer, especially since my oncologist was able to get my last ct scan scheduled in 2 days. i guess it won't serve any purpose to try to find reasonable rational thought in the bureaucracy.

i think i am close to really being at the end of my rope, and i mean that in a good "tyler durden" kind of way (reference fight club). we are actively laying down all of our previous hopes dreams desires wants assumptions and expectations, and looking at life with some pretty brutally honest admissions. it's been really great to strip down to the bare essentials and allow new matured (hopefully) mindsights to govern our desires.

again, i cannot thank all of the genereous friends who have donated time, money, love and creativity to my family. there are several new fundraising efforts underway, my beauty school is doing a cut-a-thon in august and my friends band the black angels are planning a benefit show in september. if anyone knows of a local (tx) band that would want to play at the cut-a-thon, let me know.

love you all!

not alot of new medical information to update, i have 10 more treatments and then i'll be done with the radiation. hopefully, i will be able to complete them without interruption and be done in a couple more weeks. i have limited mobility from the surgery and skin burn and some of the other indirect effects of keeping my arm dry and elevated. it looks like i will need to undergo some physical therapy in order to regain full functional use of my right arm. we may be going to georgia for a week following radiation for some really alternative medicine, and then its a waiting game. waiting for our property to sell in an effort to pay for further treatments.



this season is providing an excellent object lesson in "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." i am overwhelmed with what i am facing, and the prices my wife and children are paying. i have exhausted my own strength and wisdom and resource, and i can honestly claim that i am grateful for the perseverance that is being developed. i am looking forward to not lacking anything! i appreciate everyones continued prayers and support and the fundraisers and other creative gifts that we have received.

radiation update

i have undergone 14 of 28 initial radiation treatments, and have developed a radiation burn that is significant enough to temporarily delay further treatments. i have what could roughly be compared to a 2nd degree sunburn on my right shoulder, chest, back and armpit. i am also told that in order to get back on track with the treatments i need to rest and stay cool and dry. As you may imagine i would prefer a 3rd degree burn and be active rather than figure out how to rest every day. Sounds like perhaps i am still not quite humbled enough!

thanks again to every one who is blessing us with their prayers and donations. i am still working on developing a gauge of what has been received and what our total financial need will likely amount to, some of the delay is due to the uncertainty of treatment costs, and some is still my hesitancy to make what feels like an outrageous request. i hope that doesn't mean more humbling is in order.

til next time

not much new but an update anyway

well, we are in the early stages of the radiation, and it's tolerable so far. fatigue and skin irritation are the only side effects, and my wife has been waiting for me to slow down for quite a while. the big concern at this point is the undefined mass in my lung. we'll be scheduling another ct scan soon and hopefully that will bring some bit of clarity.

a monster thank you to everyone who showed up for the fundraiser that was arranged by Don and Mattie McKinely, that was a huge gift and provision. There have been several other big contributers as well and I cannot express the enormity of my gratitude to you all. i will attempt to put together a gauge to keep track of our need and the amount raised and have that show up either on the blog or the love just is site.

until we meet again
isaac

radiation at last

after many stupid hoops that medicaid and travis county has set before me, i am able to begin radiation treatment. it will be daily for 4 - 6 weeks, and apparently will only feel like a bad sunburn, but may also cause a short term loss of use of my right arm. i guess thats why God made my left one so incredibly strong as well.

it has been quite a battle dealing with the beuracracy, it is hard to believe that i would have had no problems in receiving help if i had just been a bum and never tried to achieve anything in life, but because i still own a home (hopefully not for long) i don't qualify for any kind of assistance. i am sure regretting having carried health insurance for 12 years and then cancelling it in frustration one month before my diagnosis. that probably was not a wise choice ...

here is a copy of a message naomi (12 year old daughter) sent to her friends.

"my dad has cancer. we are going through some ruff patches likemoving to texas in a trailor, not knowing anyone or anthingthats gunna happen. its one of the scariest things knowing that my dad, the holder of this family, could die. i never expected something like this to happen. but we are a strong family and we can pull through. he is the most important thing in my life right now and im not gunna lose him. not here, not now."

life is a highway and i apparently want to ride it all night long

the Lehr family has moved!. here's the nice big old home ... ...

and the nice cozy new home!

There is nothing more intimate then moving six people, a dog, cat, 2 rats and a tarantula from the 2,100 square foot home on 1/4 acre into a 200 square foot home in a trailer park (complete with rusty weight lifting set in the neighbors site).

i have also learned some details that are new to us. my particular variety of cancer and its metastasis into my lymph system is considered a stage 4 cancer (out of 4 possible stages, 4 being the most serious). standard western medical treatment for all stage 4 cancer patients includes systemic treatment in addition to treatments specific to the area that the tumors presented themselves. my variety of cancer is extremely rare (probably 5 cases a year in which an MPNST metastasized into the lymph) and chemotherapy is the only established systemic treatment for MPNST. Sadly, Chemo has only shown a 15% success rate in reducing MPNST tumors, so we are pursuing the alternative treatment route. my diet has already completely changed (no coffee, beer, tobacco, red meat, processed food etc.) to primarily raw vegetables and nuts soaked in water for a day, as well as juicing (yech! beet juice must be some kind of dirty punishment for some unknown sin). I have lost 30 lbs (i wish i cared more about that!).

i am supposed to begin radiation treatment ASAP at this point, but that has been delayed due to coverage hassles. i just finished a major step in the right direction today, so hopefully i'll be able to start my daily dose of radiation to my right shoulder and armpit soon (if you know me well you know i am not kidding when i say i am kind of looking forward to that experience).

All things considered, i feel extremely fortunate to be living in this experience. I do believe that I am being processed and refined for a great purpose, and even larger than that, my family is being pressed down and shaken together in order that they may have a greater capacity to love and serve God and the people around them.

sorry updates have been few and far between, i hope to be able to provide more details more often for those who are interested.

a ginormous thank you to those who have made contributions to my family, we have been able to cover the living expenses for this month because of your generosity and i am honored, humbled and grateful to you for that.

love and gratitude

isaac

love just is request for support

this is a copy of the letter that Brye McBee composed and distributed in order to address our growing financial needs. please respond however you may be led and pass the letter on (if you're led)

Dear ones,

I am writing to inform you all of some circumstances surrounding the Isaac Lehr family right now and to ask for your help.

As you may know, Isaac has recently undergone surgery to remove tumors in his lymph system that have revealed the presence of cancerous cells in his body. In short, Isaac and his family are beginning a battle with cancer. On January 9th Isaac had surgery to remove a growth on his shoulder and on March 21st had five cancerous tumors removed from under his armpit on the same side. A CT scan has revealed a “suspicious” object in his chest and because of the presence of cancer in his lymph nodes, there is a threat of more cancer showing up…As you probably know, Isaac is not a man to be threatened. According to the medical professionals, this is a very bad situation. According to Isaac, this is an opportunity for God to be known.

If you know Isaac at all, you can imagine how hard it is for him to be in a place of need. He is a strong man able to take care of his own…and right now, he is in great need. Isaac and Johnna have, at our request, humbly shared some of their needs with us. As a father myself, I can only start to imagine how hard this must be for them to have the humility it takes to ask others for help...

We know that in honor of the Lord, Isaac has made his wife and kids priority in his life. Isaac has always done everything a man could do to provide for his family. Not only with food and shelter, but also by his presence in their lives giving them assurance that he loves them and considers them his most precious. The Lehr’s have sown seeds into their kids, into their community, their churches, their friends, and their family. It is my firm belief that it is time for a harvest for that family.

Some of you may know us. We are Brye and Salem McBee of the Clan Brees. We have been friends with Isaac and Johnna for many years and have come to form a kinship with them that is nothing less than a divine work of God. We love them very deeply and are committed to standing with them. About three years ago, after our eldest son died, we formed a non-profit (tax deductible) organization in his name to assist families who are in need during illness or disability. We are honored to be able to coordinate assistance for the Lehr family and also to be a point of contact for you to keep up with their circumstances. Please keep our website marked so you can stay updated and/or make contributions to them as you feel moved to do so. Also, Isaac has started a blog (an internet journal) that you can use to stay updated on the happenings of their family. This can be accessed by going to our website and clicking on the Lehr family page.


Based on their current need we are looking for individuals, families, churches and businesses to financially assist them. There are two specific needs we have identified. One is the need to raise funds for his healthcare treatments. The other is to request of those who feel called to do so, to make a one year commitment to contributing to the Lehr family to help with their monthly expenses. Like I said before, I believe there is a harvest available to the Lehr family. If you feel you can or want to be involved in helping carry this burden with this family, please contact us and/or make your contributions via mail or our website (www.lovejustis.org). Your donations will be used to directly assist the Lehr family in paying for their immediate healthcare expenses and also providing gift cards and other resources that can be used for meals, groceries, etc.

We need to make sure this family we all love knows they will not walk through this alone. Our prayer is that as God heals Isaac, we (all of us lovers of the Lehr family) have the opportunity to be an example of how God’s people gather around when one of us is hurting. How a real community and family respond when one is in need. Please consider joining us in that stand and please also feel free to let us know if you have other resources that might be of assistance to them. God is covering this family. We ask you to financially contribute what you can and consider a monthly commitment. More importantly, we ask you to join us in prayer for the Lehr family. Prayer that the God who created Isaac’s body would work a healing miracle in that same body. That just as God has always done for Isaac in other areas of his life, He would place the very best counselors, advisors and resources in his life that he needs right now. And most, that the almighty God who loves Isaac more than all of us put together would have His way, and that He will be glorified in this.

Shalom,
Brye & Salem McBee
www.lovejustis.org

Love Just is, Inc.
1119 S Mission Rd.
Suite 324
Fallbrook, CA 92028
(760) 494-3584

PS – We have begun this with a very limited mailing list. Please forward this message to anyone you know who you think would like to assist the Lehr family and/or keep up on Isaac’s condition. There is also a place on our website where they can submit their email to be added to the mailing list.

crappy coverage

news thats new to you (maybe)

RAWRRR!!! the radiation treatments have recently become an UNCOVERED treatment. we are scrambling to find another route for help in covering those costs (ie crappy medicaid) but so far have gotten nowhere. my oncologist wanted me to be able to start that treatment in the next week or two, but the costs are way out of control. we are exploring other creative ideas that may help us move in the right direction soon, but for now ... RAWRRR!

we have been deeply deeply moved by the generosity of several dear friends who are making this season bearable, including several cash donations for which we cannot express enough gratitude. thank you.

another recent development for us has been the shock and disbelief has finally started to fade and we are experiencing the deeper emotional effects. Since we are already kind of crazy people we have enjoyed the ride and have actually been able to embrace one another more deeply as a family.

that's all for now,
love and gratitude
isaac

eans dream

my six year old son ean came into my bedroom one morning to shnuzzle up to my one good arm, and woke me up asking if i wanted to hear about his dream. having been victimized by hundreds of 25 minute accounts of imagination in the past i was still instantly eager to drink in the heart of my child. when he shared the dream with me i was awed by the awareness that God had spoken to the family through a dream to my youngest child. here is the communication as i best recall of ean sharing his dream with me
ean. daddy i had a dream last night
dad, tell me what it was,
ean, i dreamed that we moved to live by the sea because of your thing (ean points to my armpit where the cancer was removed)
dad, do you mean the ocean?
ean, (sernly) NO! the sea!
dad, okay alright!
ean, we lived by the sea because of your thing, and you got in the water every day for ten minutes because of your thing, and so one time i sneaked into the water so i could be with you. the water wasn't very deep ... it was actually just perfect for me it was to right here (he points to his chest) but you couldn't see the bottom. you started to get out of the water so i decided i would go swimming. just before i could start swimming my foot bumped into something, so i reached down to see what it was. when i had grabbed it and pulled it up, i had a handful of gold. i went to show it to you, but i lost it, so i went to look for it on the bottom. then i saw that the whole ground was full of gold.
...
...
...
dad, HOLY CRUD! ... ean that dream is amazing, i think it was more than just a dream


so ... this was eans dream, and i believe that it is a very real message to my family. i don't know exactly what it means, but i am listening awfully close for any translation of it.

i got the cancers!

hello friends,

here is a snapshot of what has occurred and i will post updates as new information is available.

December 2007 first dermatologist examined lump on shoulder, tried to remove it and gave up after 15 minutes of cutting on it. referred me to a surgeon.

January 9, 2007 surgeon removed lump completely, but did not understand pathology report indicating "malignant peripheral nerve sheath tumor"

February 21 after numerous attempts to receive clarification from surgeon and obtaining none, we were referred to see an oncologist. Dr Castillo informed me that Malignant peripheral nerve sheath tumor is actually a very rare and specific type of cancer. it can be an aggressive cancer and most likely i will develop more tumors throughout my lifetime, serious risk is when a tumor spreads to the lymph system or even more serious would be a tumor growing near a vital organ especially a lung.

March 2, 2007, ct scan performed, and follow up appointment with Dr. Castillo made. Also on this date, Dr. Declan Fleming called, prompted by a request from a Texas friend Elizabeth Byrd. Dr. Fleming is a surgical oncologist, specializing in surgical cancer removal, and he offered to help in any way he could.

March 7, 2007 Dr. Castillo informed us of ct scan results. there was a large mass in my right armpit and a small (fingertip size) mass located in my left upper torso area. surgical removal and biopsy was recommended for the large mass and the small mass is too small to pursue aggressively, Dr. Castillo recommends just keeping an eye on it.

March 28, 2007 surgical removal of armpit mass reveals 5 cancerous tumors in my lymph system. Having MPNST in the lymph significantly increases the likelihood of microscopic spread of the disease, it seems like news is getting pretty bad now!

April 4, Dr. Castillo clarifies that the small mass located in left torso is actually located in my left lung, and MPNST is rare enough that we should seek specialized care, he sent a referral to the md Anderson hospital located in Houston.